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Making decisions is often one of the most difficult
tasks you will face as an infertile couple. Should we stop treatment ?
Should we consider adoption ? Should we switch doctors ? Should we move
on to IVF ? How many embryos should we transfer ? Should we ask for an
assisted hatch or a blastocyst transfer ?
Given the fact that IVF is still more of an art than
a science; that “luck” still plays a very important role; and that we
still cannot predict who will get pregnant when, you are likely to be
completely confused by conflicting information and contradictory
opinions . Whom can you trust ? How can you decide ? And the fact that
you and your spouse may have completely different priorities and opinion
can make a bad situation even worse !
Unfortunately, many intelligent couples fall into
the trap of paralysis by analysis. They often end up making no decision
at all, which is often the worst decision of all ! Others just blindly
do what their doctor suggests . If they are lucky and they have a good
doctor, all goes well. But what if their doctor is greedy or incompetent
?
There really are no easy decision , and often there
is no "right" or "wrong" decision. You can read more about how to use
your brain to make intelligent decisions by reading the Chapter,
Making Decisions,
in our book, How to Have a Baby.
However, if you are still confused, here’s some
advise which many of our patients find very helpful. We suggest that
they take the “ path of least regret.” What does this mean ?
Pretend, for a minute, that you are 60 years old,
and you are looking back at this moment with the wisdom of hindsight.
Which decision will you kick yourself less for ? What will give you
peace of mind when you are 60 that you did your best ? As Krishna
advises in the Bhagvad Gita , “Karmanye
vadhika raste maa faleshu kadachan” -
- perform the right action without
hungering for the fruits !
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