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Remember that just
finding a good IVF doctor is not enough. For an infertile couple, the
doctor-patient relationship is the ultimate one-to-one relationship, in
which you confide fully in your doctor and trust him to help you to
conceive. You need to form a partnership with your doctor, so that you
can make the most of his skills and abilities.
In order to foster and
nurture the relationship with your doctor treat it with great care and
respect. Don't forget to say ‘thank you’ to your doctor after all, he
gets fed up of attending to droves of patients with complaints all day
long, and would be delighted to hear a patient appreciate his efforts!
This simple expression of gratitude by you would make the doctor
remember you as a person and treat you as a special patient; getting VIP
attention from him helps improve your medical care a good deal! As in a
marriage, the doctor-patient relationship depends on good communication
and trust built up over time. It is definitely worth spending time and
taking trouble to maintain such a beneficial relationship.
Remember that the
doctor's staff plays a key role, and you need to learn how the clinic
functions. It's very helpful to build up a rapport with the staff (the
receptionist, a nurse or an assistant), which can prove very useful when
you need to talk to the doctor on a priority basis. The simple rule is
that if you treat the staff well, you will be treated well too! A small
‘thank-you’ gift for the staff can help ensure that you get personalized
attention. It's useful to learn which days are the busiest and what
times are the best to consult the doctor. You should also find out what
steps to take if there is an emergency, or when the clinic is closed.
Your visits to the
doctor can be expensive, despite being very short. Many doctors have
perfected the technique of flying into the examination room, shooting
off questions, and rattling off advice. And, before you know it, you're
shoved out of the door, worrying about those crucial matters you forgot
to ask and the directions you forgot to write down. So, what's the
solution? Is there really a secret to getting your money's worth from a
doctor's visit? Yes, there is, and it's a simple one: Do your ‘homework’
thoroughly before visiting the doctor! In order to make the best use of
your doctor's time, you need to ‘prepare’ for your visit, very much like
you prepare for an examination. Time spent in getting organized before
you go to the doctor can help immensely! A well-organized patient not
only makes efficient use of the doctor's time but he is also likely to
get better medical care, as he can help the doctor to make an accurate
diagnosis. A conscientious patient makes sure that he has all the
records with him as well as the vital questions to which he needs
answers (preferably, in writing). Patients who value the doctor's time
will do their best to get answers to their queries by tapping external
sources such as books, libraries and the Internet, before going to the
doctor’s clinic. This procedure will allow them and their doctor to
focus on what is important to them, so that they can make the best use
of the limited ‘quality time’ that they have with the doctor.
Your doctor is
definitely not a mind-reader; you must tell him everything you
know, think, and feel about your problem if you want an accurate
diagnosis and the best treatment plan. (There is no need to be shy or
embarrassed about sensitive subjects such as sexual problems or sexually
transmitted diseases as far as your doctor is concerned. Rest assured
that doctors have ‘seen it all’ and ‘heard it all’. They're not there to
pass moral or ethical judgement on your conduct.)
Do not hesitate to share
your thoughts with your doctor. If you think what he is recommending
does not make sense, say so, and specify your reasons. If you're
worried, do express your anxieties and find out how you can get more
information and support to dispel them. If you sit on your chair and
listen meekly, your doctor will either assume that you are uninterested
in a full explanation --- or that you are too stupid to understand!
Remember: the more you ask, the more you will be told!
Do keep in mind that
doctors are also human, and they may also be burdened by their own
problems. On certain days they may seem rude or curt; on such days, give
them a little leeway and a lot of understanding!
Since it is your head on
the block, so to say, you are entitled to raise all relevant questions
and seek satisfactory answers to them. If you cannot understand your
doctor's explanations, ask him to repeat everything in simpler language.
Ask him to show you illustrations; also, ask for written material that
explains the medical issues in greater detail, so that you can study it
later at leisure.
The following terms can
be very helpful when you talk to your doctor:
·
Please
tell me more about that.
·
What does
that mean in simple English?
·
Could you
explain that to me again?
·
Could you
write that down for me?
·
Where can
I find more information about this subject?
·
You seem
rushed. When can I call you to talk about this in more detail?
Try to schedule your
next visit at the end of the consultation. If the succeeding
question-answer session is something which can be managed on the
telephone, then try to do so. You could save both time and money by
avoiding an unnecessary visit to the doctor’s clinic.
However, you need to
learn to make intelligent use of the phone to get appropriate help from
the doctor. The following routine may help you to help the doctor give
you the care you need over the telephone:
·
Keep a pen
and paper ready so that you can write down the relevant instructions.
·
Make sure
all your medical records are at hand, so that you can answer questions
about your medical problem intelligently and accurately.
·
Identify
yourself properly, giving your full name as well as your diagnosis (try
not to tax your doctor's memory!).
·
Ask if you
can take a few minutes of the doctor's time now, or whether you should
call back again this is common courtesy!
·
Report
specific symptoms. For example, rather than just saying, ‘I don't feel
well, or I've got the flu,’ which can be interpreted in different ways,
be prepared to describe your symptoms precisely; for instance, fever,
sore throat, cough, and/or bodyache.
·
When you
don't know what you need (for example, you may not be sure how serious
the illness is, i.e., if you require a visit to the clinic), tell the
staff you're uncertain and request that you speak to a nurse or the
doctor's assistant over the phone. Don't be hesitant; if you're feeling
concerned or anxious, let the clinic staff know.
·
Don't
insist on talking only to the doctor every time you call. For example,
if you just need to make an appointment, or merely clarify a doubt, the
nursing staff or receptionist may be able to help you. To put it
differently: respect your doctor's time!
·
Don't
misuse the phone by trying to wangle a free consultation. Not only is
this act unfair to the doctor, but also such a consultation is likely to
be very unreliable!
Today, many physicians
make themselves an assistant or other staff member available to their
patients over the phone. Pre-visit questions and routine follow-up on
the phone can save you — and your doctor both time and money. Before
making a call, you need to know certain relevant information in advance:
·
When is
the best time to call?
·
What is
the doctor's rule for returning calls?
·
Whom
should you speak with (e.g., assistant, nurse) if the doctor can't come
to the phone?
·
What is
the phone number for making emergency calls or for calls when the office
is closed?
·
Whom can
you call if your doctor is out of town?
Making effective use of
the telephone can help to save both you and your doctor considerable
time, effort and money! Learn to use this instrument wisely and well.
Many doctors today are happy to answer your
queries by email – and this can be very helpful if your doctor is in a
different city. Please find out from your doctor what his policy about
email queries is!
It’s a good idea to
carry written checklists with you during every visit. You may have a
wide range of questions you would like to ask the doctor, but as a
result of the stress generated by the consultation you often forget most
of them. Such a situation is very frustrating, and you kick yourself
when you get home. To prevent this, it is prudent to write down all the
questions you need to ask, in order of priority. It is also helpful to
write down the doctor's answers. Studies have shown that patients forget
about 50 per cent of what the doctor tells them during a visit! Writing
down the doctor’s answers will prevent such a ‘disaster’! Moreover, your
doctor also stands to benefit because you need not pester him with your
queries all over again!
Try to make sure you go
for your consultation as a couple. The presence of your spouse can help
reduce your anxiety, give you courage to ask the relevant questions, and
also ensure that you have someone to interpret the doctor’s statements.
As mentioned earlier, do not hesitate to ask questions (and more
questions); never mind how many other patients are waiting outside the
doctor's clinic, or how stupid the questions may seem to you. When you
are with the doctor, his only focus of interest should be you, and it's
his job to provide answers. Remember, the only stupid question is the
one you didn't ask. Be courteous but assertive while asking questions
and obtaining information, but don't turn aggressive or antagonistic.
Listen carefully to what your doctor says, and in case of doubt and
ambiguity, do not leave till these have been dispelled. Remember, the
word doctor is derived from the Latin root docere, which means
'to teach'. Therefore, look for a doctor who is willing to share his
knowledge with you!
The most common
complaint patients have is that they are made to wait for ages before
the doctor sees them! It is only because patients put up with such a
situation that doctors get away with this unpardonable behaviour. After
all, no doctor would remain very busy if all his patients decide to
refuse to wait for him! Some patients seem to believe that the longer
they have to wait outside the doctor's clinic, the better he must be,
since he has so many patients clamoring for his attention. This is
simply not true! No matter how hard-pressed a doctor may be, he can
always space out his appointments, so that you never have to wait for
more than an hour to see him.
In order to ensure that
you don't lose your patience while waiting in the clinic, it would be a
prudent idea to carry a paperback novel or a Walkman. Nowadays, many
doctors keep patient educational leaflets and brochures in their
clinics. You could read them in order to use your time constructively!
Some clinics are also ‘blessed’ with TV sets, so that patients do not
get totally fed up.
While an occasional
delay is unavoidable (since a medical emergency could require your
doctor's immediate attention), if you are made to wait for an eternity
each time, something is seriously wrong with the doctor's attitude
towards patients. For any inordinate delay, the clinic staff should be
courteous enough to provide an explanation, and, if needed, an
alternative appointment. As an example of efficient patient management,
if a doctor at the famous Mayo Clinic in the USA makes you wait for more
than 30 minutes without an explanation, you can complain to the hospital
manager who will rectify matters.
Make sure you carry
photocopies of all your medical records and tests. You can give them to
the doctor for his files, if needed. You should have a clear
understanding of your medical records so that you can explain the
details to another doctor if needed.
Try to do your best to
become an ideal patient, and learn to take an active interest in your
medical care – it’s a simple fact of life that infertile patients who
know how to make the most of their doctor get better medical care!
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