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By PRIYA PARIKH TANNA
For every problem,
there is help just around the corner.
Example: Infertility Friends. All you have to do is talk
it out.
Infertility is not just a biological condition.
For a couple gripped by this complication, it is an unsettling period
of affliction and turmoil. A time when psychological support is
as imperative as medication.
Recognising this need led to the inception of
Infertility Friends, the city’s very first support group for
infertility patients. The group was first started in 1992-1993 by
fertility experts Dr. Aniruddha and Dr. Anjali Malpani,
but didn’t manage to gather much momentum than.
It restarted in July 98, when the Malpanis
approached their patient Sandeep Jhunjhunwala and his wife to join
them.
Says Sandeep, “My wife and I were inflicted
with the infertility problem for 14 long years, and we’ve gone
through hell and back. Fortunately, after successful completion
of the treatment, we now have a daughter, so we felt it was our
responsibility to help others who are going through the trials and
tribulations we did. And even the Malpanis, who have been
with us through our problem, felt that we would be the right people
to get involved in this project. So we decided to get serious and
hold these meetings on a regular basis.”
“Our first step was to chalk out our strategies,
objectives and style of operations,” he continues, “so
what we did first was to print pamphlets and catalogues explaining
our project and intentions, and circulated it. We then decided upon
the frequency of the meeting and put it down to once a month, to
start with.”
Once word got around, the group started to receive
instant feedback from couples expressing interest (through their
voice mail service).
Sudha (name changed on request) undergoing treatment
for infertility, is also a part of Infertility Friends. Speaking
on its behalf, she says, “When you are on infertility treatment,
you are called in for daily scans. The stress is so much that it
is unimaginable. Not to mention that treatment is very expensive.
I’ve seen women coming in for the meetings with their husbands.
Their faces always wear an unhappy look and most of the time they
have no one to talk to, as many of them come from conservative families.
And that is where a system like Infertility Friends helps.”
A media person, Sudha’s problem found its
origin in her work, “The kind of job that I have brings with
it a great deal of stress and that led to polycystic ovaries (small
cysts on the ovaries), which in turn interfered with my ovulation.
I treated this with cauterisation, a small operation, and all seemed
fine. Now what has happened is that my stress levels are still high,
so my eggs are forming but not rupturing. In short, I am back to
square one.”
Recalling his trauma, Sandeep says, “Mine
was a case of male infertility, where the sperm count was absolutely
zero. In 1984, when the problem was diagnosed, there was no real
treatment available, so we spent a lot of time on a wild goose chase,
going to quacks and Ayurvedic doctors. Even with the foreign doctors
we went through many cycles of treatment, of six months each. And
between each cycle there was an interval of six months each. And
each time there would be an unsuccessful cycle, there would be a
lot of depression. It taxed us physically, financially and mentally.
There were times when we almost gave up and in fact, my wife even
contemplated suicide. With the help of the Malpanis --- it was during
our sixth such cycle --- that my wife got pregnant. The first thing
I would say to couples having this problem is to stick together
through it, and not to alienate the other person. This is not an
‘his or her’ problem but ‘our’ problem.”
The meetings of Infertility Friends are now held
on the last Saturday of every month at 4 p.m. at the HELP library,
Om Chambers, Kemps Corner. “Through out voicemail service,
we get regular feedback. A week prior to our meetings, we call up
all those listed with us and invite them to join us. On an average,
we have been attracting 10-15 couples for every meeting; this is
a free service that we are providing.” The meetings are treated
as a ground for all present to discuss their problems openly and
speak about their personal traumas. The Malpanis disseminate
information on the issue and counsellor Dr. Mehta gives psychological
support.
“There is no fixed agenda,” says Sudha,
“we are just getting people to speak openly about themselves,
and believe me, it is a very cathartic experience. We have had people
breaking down at the meetings. And many a time, people who come
to us don’t have access to much information, so we guide them
how to go about solving their problem. We give them the basic facts,
tell them of the costs and risks involved. Those at an advanced
stage in their treatment, by sharing their experiences, are indirectly
telling the newcomers what they will go through and how they can
deal with it better. We have a lost of fertility clinics and give
it to all our patients, so they know where to go. In short, we are
the emotional support. When a couple going through this problem
realizes that there are many more sailing in the same boat, it eases
their suffering. We want them to know that they are not alone.”
Infertility Friends can be contacted at
266 4412, 265 9835, 495 4644 or 497 6493.
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